September 16, 2018
I wonder if we should introduce the concept of death to children as a part of their educational curriculum. Because, like breathing, eating, and sleeping, death is one of the most important facts of life we must know and understand. Without training, without guidance, we are doomed to flounder in the depths of our grieving processes.
I think, perhaps, we should learn how to grieve before we come to grief itself.
If I were a teacher, here’s what I would want my students to know.
This life is complicated. There are moments of deep peace, moments of complete despair, and a wide range of emotions that flutter in between. When we meditate, when we watch our lives as if they were a movie in which we had no emotional investment, we can see the colors clearly as they paint their ways across the scenes of the show. But, we often forget that we can watch the colors from a distance.
Sometimes, the colors of joy or sadness or grief or pure bliss are such vivid colors, they take over the whole stage and make their way into your body, into your soul. The colors paint you and color your world with their energies; everything you see becomes tainted with the influence of the color of your emotion. Blues can be blocked out by the happiest and most secure of oranges. Some colors are only possible when two complete opposites come together in unison. Sometimes rare, unexpected unions of color can come together to produce the most amazing phenomenon you would have never expected. And, when you open everything up and mix all the colors together, you get the richest, darkest, purest, deepest, most endless black you could ever imagine. That, too, is beautiful in its own way.
But, colors can also become you and, in a moment of forgetting you can watch from a distance, you forget that any other colors exist. When you are so deeply immersed in the blues of your life, you can forget that golden yellows and vivacious, happy bright shades still exist. Sometimes, the blue becomes all you see. Mesmerized by the richness of your current emotional state and its corresponding color, you can feel powerless, a victim to the current hue that seeks to fully become you.
The blue wants to swallow you, to swim with you, to pierce you and softly move through you and change your color, too. Because you, my dear, are also a color.
And ,perhaps you’ve been filled with so much yellow, blue is needed to change you at your core. Perhaps life, Mother Nature, is calling on you to shape-shift, to become something other than what you’ve previously been so you can better serve the world around you. But first, you must change colors. Life will change your colors. Love will change your colors. Loss, too, will undoubtedly change your colors.
And what we are not told, when we’re young and in primary school, is that all of our colors will change one day to black. We will return to the mass of energetic color combinations and be reborn again, because all colors are born from some darkness. Without it, we’d be nothing. And, since there is something instead of nothing, we must be a product of this blackness.
The people and the animals and the places we most love in this world, are temporary colors. We’ve come together in this time and space for an unknown reason. To see color is to see the amazing world around you. To see beauty despite your internal world feeling ugly is beautiful. To believe that you will one day see red again when all you’ve been able to see for the last few months (or years) is black is the true testament of faith. To have faith only when you see everything you want to see is to deny the nature of our world- for what is blue today may become green tomorrow.
To have true faith is to know that your own color is always being prepared and prepped to meet the colors of those with whom you interact. And, if you’re heart is open, it’s possible that your colors will combine with another’s to create a new color all together.
Perhaps you meet somebody and you never thought that your colors would interact. I do not mean to say your skin color. By now, I hope you’re understanding that the colors to which I refer are the colors of the spirit, the colors that fill your eyes and the colors that come from the sound of your voice. The colors that come to you when you hear the voice of another, the warm yellow that comes when somebody speaks with confidence, the soft purple when somebody speaks of something sacred, or the deep green when somebody speaks to you from their heart.
Even when you think your color, your emotional state, your energy is something that you shouldn’t share, you should share it, because it’s not yours to own. These colors are yours to share with the world, for they are eager to dance and connect with the colors of all your peers, with everybody with whom you interact, with the great big world around you.
Believe in yourself and the power of all your colors. For you, like the energetic rays of color that flood this galaxy and this earth with their spirits, are boundless, timeless, capable, and truly, deeply, beautiful.
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